As of today anger has shot sadness in the leg and put it on a leash then it kill lust and left it to bleed to death, happiness is locked up in a cage somewhere doing God knows what, afraid is hiding somewhere and scared shitless out of its mind BC anger is wanting to go on a killing and beating spree, but oh well it can’t be fix BC anger has run amuck and set everything on fire.
I know no one would understand me bout what im going thorough im not like the rest of my family I’m different, im not normal I have multiple sides right now I rather just wear black and be gothic like dark just like my soul is right now, couple of days ago I watched collateral beauty and saw where he wrote 3 letters one to death, love, and time, If I were to write letters I would write ones to sadness, happiness, love, and afraid, the first one would to Dear sadness
I see you have come into my life and kicked happiness out only to let it in when it is needed, I know you are here but I wonder how long are you planning to stay well wait it doesn’t matter you can stay as long as you like, BC I know.nothing will make me happy again like I used to be, I can’t make up mind should I have you stay or go oh well I don’t know, then the second one would go Dear happiness
I know sadness has kicked you out only to let you in when it is needed, my question to you is will you ever come back in and stay maybe kick sadness ass sometime but I don’t know if you will bc sadness has kicked in while writing this. The next one would go Dear love
Why is it you always pick the most horrible men to date especially the ones that treat me like shit and hurt me inside and out, I would tell you this I have put my broken heart behind several walls to protect it from getting hurt again and for you to quit trying to let or tear down those walls just so I can get hurt again enough is enough, also to let those other you know what feelings to stay hidden BC no one else can’t know bout them but my best friend. The last one would go Dear afraid
I know you are here because I am a afraid to tell my family about my ideas or the fact I would like to start my own clothing line but afraid they would say you know you can’t do that or that idea is stupid and you should just leave that stuff to the smart ones like us so you just sit there and do nothing BC you don’t have a job or the money to do anything, also afraid to speak up and say how I really feel along with how really hurt my feelings are hurting in this moment this time and such, afraid no one will listen or care about what I have to say. Question to afraid what should I do oh wait I don’t think you would know. So that’s all I have to say.
While being stuck to choose between to two men who were fighting over her. Alexandra couldn’t do it she couldn’t choose BC she found both of them hot and sexy. When it came time to choose she told them I can’t choose I rather have both of you right now in my bed making love to me. But before she could do anything she was cut off by a hot woman name layla saying not so fast they ain’t the only who happen to like you. Alexandra responded and who would that be I don’t see anyone else around. Thats when layla responded by going up and kissing Alexandra on the lips going into a deep hot kiss then to break away saying I’m the one who also happens to like you. After hearing that shocking news Alexandra grabs layla by the hand and yelling at the guys come to my bed with me now so we can have hot steamy sex. While making out with both guys she let layla eat her shaved wet pussy out while jacking both guys off at the same time. The moment when Alexandra and both of the guys came at the same time it was layla turn but when Alexandra grabbed layla hand saying it was her turn layla stopped her saying I got a song that will set the mood. She puts on a song called slow hands by niall horan and Alexandra said oooh I like this song then gets up and starts to slowly stripping her clothes off in front of them. Then layla gets up right close to Alexandra’s face and said I like you to her face so Alexandra said i just want to take me time to blow your mind then kisses layla deep while rubbing her pussy. While Alexandra was making out with layla the guys started rubbing themselves again getting all hot and horny. So things started to heat up with layla and Alexandra so théy took it to the shower and hot steamy shower sex while washing each others body while leaving the guys to fuck each other and make out.
In this Moment Im feeling Calm the stress just melts away as I continue to listen to the wave sounds, listening to the waves rolling in and crashing against the shore, wanting to be at the beach laying out in the sun possibly under an umbrella while listening to the waves roll in and crash against the shore again and again, think about wanting to walk out there and feel the waves hit my feet causing them to get wet over and over again, but then I realize im not at the beach im at home listening to the wave sounds.
Is it done is it over the hurt and pain. I guess not BC I can still feel it and remember it all. Yes all of the pain that everyman that has come into my life causing me hurt and pain repeatedly. Idk if I will get over it fully BC it has been burned and cut into me deeply. Do I want to start fresh yes but I can’t BC of all the hurt and pain is in my way I guess somewhat protecting me so I wouldn’t take that chance of getting hurt again. I guess its better that way I don’t open myself up again or let my guard/wall down around my heart. BC if I did know I would just get hurt again or more like burned so its best I keep my wall/guard up around my heart and to never open myself up to guys every again. I knowing I could get hurt again and again repeatedly. Im done being hurt so I pulled up that mat to keep guys and ppl from walking all over me BC no more Miss Nice Girl. Its time to be honest or more like blunt honest.